Enkindle Wellness

Category: Divergent Reflections

  • The Hero’s Journey

    Every experience in life can be seen as a heroine’s (hero’s) journey. The challenges the hero faces, the forces of good and evil, the resolution, are similar – often amazingly so – across time, place and culture. Fairy tales, legends, myths, movies, tales of all sorts follow this archetypal storyline: innocent hero answers a call to venture out of their innocence and is initiated into a situation fraught with danger. With the help of allies, hero meets challenge and returns home triumphant.

    Keeping in mind that a hero’s journey can happen in an instant (a sudden flash of insight), the hero’s journey occurs over and over again in your life. Understanding the hero’s journey and recognising it playing out in your own life can help you to experience life more fully.

    There are six stages in the hero’s journey; each one bestows a gift;

    1. Innocence
      All is well with the world, the hero is relatively naïve and happy. Things are easy, safe or at least comfortably familiar.
      Gift: a chance for renewal and a deepening of the lessons of the previous journey.
    2. The Call to Adventure
      The Call may come as a crisis demanding immediate resolution or it maybe the subtle ticking of a hidden clock, signalling the need to mature. To answer the call is to take on the challenge, it may be dangerous and there will be no turning back. The hero must take a leap into the unknown. To not answer the call is to retreat back into innocence and safety – there is no hero’s journey.
      Gift: you are energised and begin to move.
    3. Initiation
      The hero enters the realm of the bottomless pit where secret strengths germinate. It is the experience of not knowing how or if the situation will be resolved. It is a journey of maturation and transformation in which the hero has to develop new strengths or wisdom to survive. There is a sense of giving up, of realization that the situation cannot be dealt with by normal means. It is this surrender that allows the transformation.Gift: your skills are strengthened and your sense of yourself and what you need to do, are sharpened
    4. Allies
      At the point of transformation allies appear in the form of people or objects to assist the hero. They represent the deep well of wisdom that the hero has in reserve and learns to tap into at this time. The allies bring a sense of trust that there is a way out of the bottomless pit.
      Gift: you get support for your journey.
    5. Breakthrough
      A new level of awareness or way of being is attained. This transformation and expression of new abilities enables the hero to escape the bottomless pit to the new world. An “Ah Ha” experience.
      Gift: you re-enter the world with new abilities.
    6. Celebration
      The journey ends with the return of the hero, bringing gifts or wisdom back to those who’ve remained. The hero is a wiser and deeper person. The successful hero’s journey benefits many people not just the hero. A new status quo is reached at a higher or richer level paving the way for the next hero’s journey.
      Gift: celebration generates joy and instils practices that can help you as you undertake your next journey

    Adapted from:

    “The Highest Goal” by Michael Ray

    “The Path of the Everyday Hero” by Lorna Catford and Michael Ray

    Developed from the work of Joseph Campbell:

    “Whether small or great, and no matter what the stage or grade of life, the call rings up the curtain, always, on a mystery of transfiguration – a rite, or moment, or spiritual passage, which, when complete, amounts to a dying and a birth. The familiar life horizon has been outgrown; the old concepts, ideals, and emotional patterns no longer fit; the time for passing of a threshold is at hand.”

  • Being vs Doing – Resolving the Paradox

    Being vs Doing – Resolving the Paradox

    The only thing you ever have is now.If we are “supposed to be” perfect in the moment how do we change ourselves and the world for the better?

    This apparent paradox is the old question of Being vs Doing. Wisdom calls for us to accept things as they are and at the same time we know that we want to change things. How can this be achieved? I have to say that I pondered this over for several years and the answer seemed to be there, like it was hanging in space, but I could not grasp it. I have since realised that I was trying to understand a “big picture’ concept using the “small detail” part of my mind. I will explain……

    I was inspired to understand the “answer” to this paradox, about 4 years ago, by a person who comes to see me. At that stage I had seen him a few times and one day, when I asked him what changes he was noticing with the Network Chiropractic Care, he said that there was a paradox (I don’t remember what the particular paradox was) that he had been searching for an answer to for many years and in the previous week he had finally understood it.

    The crucial thing I noticed was that when he said the words “in the previous week I have finally understood it”, he changed his posture to a slightly more erect one and tilted his head back a little. Clearly he had found the resolution of his paradox by accessing his “big picture” mind. The Network care he had received had made a new higher level posture more available to him and had contributed to his being able to achieve this insight.

    Most people who experience Network Care become aware of positive changes to their posture and often describe it using such words as “feeling taller”, “more connected”, “more grounded”, “more powerful”,  “more feminine / masculine”, “more at ease”, and many other positive descriptions.

    An aspect of the change in posture is the position of the person’s head becoming level, or slightly tilted up, (their eyes look straight ahead) rather than tilting down (to look at the ground in front of them). It is proven that we access a different part of our brain depending on the posture of our head.

    The tilted down posture gives more access to our busy mind, where we focus on practical detailed tasks and where we think more about our “problems”. In Network we call this the Lower Mind. The level or slightly tilted up head position accesses more of our Upper Mind. This is where our “big picture” thinking occurs.

    As an experiment try saying the words, “feeling taller”, “more connected” etc. that are in the paragraph above; first with your head down looking at the floor in front of you, then standing straighter, looking ahead and notice the difference in how you feel inside. Then try saying a few words like “I’m hopeless”, “I never get things right”, “it’s all his/her fault” (you can make up more it you want – we all have/have had plenty) using the two different postures. In the upright posture some of the “negative” thoughts may even sound silly.

    The Upper Mind is where we access our creativity and philosophical ideas. Here, you will notice, answers tend to come in moments of clarity or “Ah Ha’s” as opposed to the detailed logical progression of the Lower Mind’s processes. Our Lower Mind’s thoughts tend to be much more influenced, mostly unconsciously, by our physical and emotional injuries.

    This doesn’t make the Lower Mind bad or something to “get rid of” – it’s a wonderful, essential part of our make-up as a human being. But it’s important to realise that with Network Care we gain greater access to our Upper Mind and therefore have more choices about which aspect of our mind we use in different situations.

    Imagine writing a shopping list for a special meal you want to create. You tend to use your Upper Mind to get a “big picture’ of the combination of dishes you would like to serve and how you will present them, then you switch to your Lower Mind to think about the ingredients you have in the cupboard and which ones you will have to buy etc. i.e. the details. You might notice yourself switching back and forth between your Upper and Lower Minds to check that the details and the big picture are congruent.

    Now, back to the Being Vs Doing paradox. I agree with Eckhart Tolle who says:

    “The power for creating a better future is contained in the present moment: You create a good future by creating a good present.”

    When we talk about being in the present moment, we are describing the act of gathering our attention and energy in the here and now, focusing on what is around us and what is happening in our life right now in the moment.

    So if you are drinking a cup of coffee, you are noticing the flavour and temperature of the coffee and the feel of the cup in your hand; if you are reading this article, you are focusing fully on these words; if you are listening to a friend, you are giving all your attention to him or her and not looking at your phone or allowing your thoughts to wander.

    You cannot live in this world without doing. As you further develop the art of being fully present in the moment, then everything you do will become more purposeful and meaningful.

    The important message to remember is that by being fully present in each and every moment, you will be able to do your very best work and accomplish your full potential. Learn how to be first, and then your best doing will follow……..and the paradox will disappear!

     

  • Invite Your “Higher Self” For a Coffee and Chat.

    Much of what distresses us comes from a conflict with our “higher selves.”  We often perceive ourselves as falling short of our own potential and are overwhelmed by inadequacy.

    The following thought-experiment might prove useful:

    Imagine for a moment that your so-called higher self is living a parallel life. Right now, he or she is doing the things you want to be doing, having the relationships you want to be having, living the life-style you want to be living, enjoying the health you want to be enjoying, and is expressing him or herself creatively and emotionally in all the ways you want to be expressing.

    Let’s pretend this ‘You’ was an actual person and let’s pretend that you have the opportunity to invite them for a coffee and chat at your favourite café.

    As you prepare to meet, what are you feeling? Are you nervous or embarrassed? And as you sit there chatting, do you find yourself wanting to make excuses for why you’re not living the same life this higher version of Yourself is living? Take note of how you are feeling during this imaginary scenario, but avoid making comparisons.

    Instead, observe how this higher You is carrying themselves, check their posture, tune in to their energy, be receptive to their vibrations. Get a sense of their confidence, joy and enthusiasm. See the light behind their eyes.

    Now, step out of conflict with this other You. After all, it’s YOU!! You are them. It merely takes a mental shift to step right into their shoes. The barrier to becoming your “higher-self” is purely imaginary. There is no barrier…… simply a merging.

    Until we start thinking the thoughts and carrying the presence of the higher version of ourselves, we will continue to live a lesser experience.

     

  • What is Is

    What is Is

    “The only time we suffer is when we believe a thought that argues with what is. When our mind is perfectly clear, what is is what we want.” – Byron Katie

    Byron Katie

    In 1986 while in a halfway house for women with eating disorders Byron Katie experienced a life-changing realization: “I discovered that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered, but that when I didn’t believe them, I didn’t suffer, and that this is true for every human being. Freedom is as simple as that. I found that suffering is optional. I found a joy within me that has never disappeared, not for a single moment.”

    People immediately began seeking her out and asking how they could find the peace that radiated from her. Katie calls her method of self-inquiry “The Work”.  Click Here to download a worksheet for doing The Work.

    An excerpt from Loving What Is  by Byron Katie.

     “The only time we suffer is when we believe a thought that argues with what is. When our mind is perfectly clear, what is is what we want. If you want reality to be different than it is, you might as well try to teach a cat to bark. You can try and try, and in the end the cat will look up at you and say, “Meow.” Wanting reality to be different than it is, is hopeless.”

    “And yet, if you pay attention, you’ll notice that you think thoughts like this dozens of times a day. “People should be kinder.” “Children should be well-behaved.” “My husband (or wife) should agree with me.” “I should be thinner (or prettier or more successful).” These thoughts are ways of wanting reality to be different than it is. If you think that this sounds depressing, you’re right. All the stress that we feel is caused by arguing with what is.”

    “People new to The Work often say to me, “But it would be disempowering to stop my argument with reality. If I simply accept reality, I’ll become passive. I may even lose the desire to act.” I answer them with a question: “Can you really know that that’s true?” Which is more empowering? — “I shouldn’t have lost my job” or “I lost my job; what can I do now?”

    “The Work reveals that what you think shouldn’t have happened should have happened. It should have happened because it did, and no thinking in the world can change it. This doesn’t mean that you condone it or approve of it. It just means that you can see things without resistance and without the confusion of your inner struggle. No one wants their children to get sick, no one wants to be in a car accident; but when these things happen, how can it be helpful to mentally argue with them? We know better than to do that, yet we do it, because we don’t know how to stop.”

    “I am a lover of what is because it hurts when I argue with reality. We can know that reality is good just as it is, because when we argue with it, we experience tension and frustration. We don’t feel natural or balanced. When we stop opposing reality, action becomes simple, fluid, kind, and fearless.”

    The Work is a simple, quick and powerful way to help us connect to the present. Being present is the way to create a better world. Click Here to download a worksheet for doing The Work. The website for The Work is http://www.thework.com . There are several free downloadable documents on The Work website at http://www.thework.com/dothework.php including The Little Book which is a great background and instruction manual for The Work.

  • Seeking a Balanced Life

     

     

    Sometime last year I woke one morning and realised I had a cold. It made me stop and think (as symptoms are supposed to do) about what was going on in my life that was causing the stress that contributed to my succumbing to a virus.

    I paused and went through a checklist of my current activities to see if I was living a “Balanced Life”.

    • Exercise
    • Diet
    • Meditation
    • Family and friends time
    • Work challenge/satisfaction
    • Sleep

    I thought that I was carrying these aspects of life reasonably well according to some ideal “to-do” list that I had set myself. And then the big “ah ha” came from my realisation of two things:

    • That I was trying to do all of these things every day;
    • That there was not enough time set aside for me…. to just “smell the roses”.

    “Forget about your life situation for a while and pay attention to your life.” – Eckhart Tolle
     

    My stress (expressed as a cold) was the result of my long list of things I felt I had to do to have a “balanced life”. Then I stopped for a moment to consider what it was that I really had to do that day, and if I didn’t get it done, would there be an “end-of-the-world” crisis?  I took a deep breath and realised that I didn’t actually have to do anything!

     

    It’s interesting when I act from this new perspective, my mind is less of a chatter-box and I actually achieve more.

     

    While it is useful to have a “to-do” list to refer to; a “balanced life” of achievement can only come from being present with the current moment. Now, whenever I notice myself getting caught up in my “to-do” list, I take a step back. It’s an ongoing process.

     

    The next time you find yourself in a similar situation, take a moment to step back and give yourself the space to breathe. You might be surprised at how much easier it is to face the day when you’re just the tiniest bit mindful of your breathing. You will be on the way to creating a more “balanced life”.

     

    “Be aware of your breathing. Notice how this takes attention away from your thinking and creates space.”  –  Eckhart Tolle

  • Learning to Know

    Learning to Know

     

    I have always been fascinated by the task of having to re-learn things I thought I already knew. Clearly everyone has experienced this, so here are a few reflections on this mysterious and mostly frustrating aspect of life.
    Most of us have decided at some stage to follow advice for a better way of living. Whether it is to “know” to: “Be the change you wish to see in the world”; or to “know” that: “You shouldn’t get angry and stressed as it doesn’t help you and is bad for your health.”
    There are millions of words of advice that we are exposed to – especially on Facebook – advice that that we “know” is valuable and inspiring, yet why is it that “knowing” is not enough to integrate valuable advice into our lives in a permanent way? Why do we spend such a lot of our lives re-learning what we thought we already knew?
    So what actually is “knowing”? Is it that we only really “know” something when we live it as a way of life – when it has become a practice rather than an idea?
    I believe we can divide “knowing” into four stages, from thinking we know something, to it becoming a way of life.
    Stage 1: Thinking we “know”.
    This is the beginning and weakest stage of knowing. We know something intellectually and can feel good about ourselves for “knowing” it. This satisfaction in “knowing” at this stage is often what tricks our mind into telling us that we have done enough “work” on this thing so we forget about it and continue unconsciously with our lives. Nothing has changed.
    Stage 2: Understanding.
    We may study and think about the very thing that we “know” will help us to change. We may even reach a level of understanding. But this is still at the level of the conscious mind. Also. too often at this stage, the mind is telling us reasons for not carrying out the change we want, telling us that,   “it’s not that important” or “it’s too hard” or “I haven’t got time” or something similar. We can become exhausted by these internal arguments and mostly nothing changes or if only for a short time.
    Stage 3: Living it.
    This is a higher stage of knowing that is only reached in a small percentage of changes in our lives. “Knowing” has evolved beyond the level of the mind but it still is mostly a mind component. Here we can fall into the trap of thinking that we know everything there is to know about changing. We can become experts in theory but fail in our practice. And so our capacity to completely change is actually compromised.
    Stage 4: A way of life.
    At this stage we no longer “think” about change because it has become a way of life. It is integrated into our way of living. This happens quite rarely and yet is essential for a successful life. When a change hasn’t reached Stage 4 then we will go through these stages again and again to re-learn what we thought we already knew.
    As life is never static it is still possible to lose a “knowing” that was a way of life. The key is to notice when we are not doing something that we “know”. The most import thing about noticing to create positive change is that we just observe and not judge.
    Network Care can assist us to “know” at a higher stage because it helps us to be more present and less “stuck in our head” by clearing phyisical and emotional blockages that have built up over the years.