Enkindle Wellness

Tag: presence

  • Curiosity

    Curiosity

    “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”  — Mark Twain

    I have long been interested in the phenomenon of curiosity. When I contemplate its meaning I realise that it comes from “presence”- being totally present in a given moment. Curiosity is an active meditation requiring an opening of the senses and a sharpening of the mind. The experience of being curious is a key ingredient to infusing life with meaning and purpose.

    Curiosity is an orientation that seeks what is novel in a situation. It embraces uncertainty, rather than struggling for control. There is evidence that maintaining curiosity in old age protects against cognitive and physical decline.

    I notice a sense of curiosity in the people I see at Enkindle Wellness. I often see a willingness to confront unfamiliar or challenging concepts and endeavours in order to seek a more meaningful and fulfilling life. This is an encouraging experience for me and for the people who come to my practice.

    “Curious? Discover the Missing Ingredient to a Fulfilling Life” written by Dr Todd Kashdan is a book filled with studies and insights into curiosity.

    Dr. Kashdan draws issue with the “happiness movement” as an end goal. He advocates curiosity as a more authentic path for a happy and meaningful life. Being curious requires an openness to the unfamiliar and to uncertain outcomes. If just being happy is your goal, then you are closed off from the possibility of unexpected outcomes. Curiosity requires not just an attentiveness to the potential of a given situation but also a degree of risk.

    “When we experience curiosity, we are willing to leave the familiar and routine and take risks, even if it makes us feel anxious and uncomfortable,” said Kahsdan. “Curious explorers are comfortable with the risks of taking on new challenges. Instead of trying desperately to explain and control our world, as a curious explorer we embrace uncertainty, and see our lives as an enjoyable quest to discover, learn and grow.”

    We can exercise curiosity by seeking what’s intriguing about our world … about why things are important to us….about people we think we know ….about relationships that challenge us…. or even someone we’ve been married to for 20 years!

    One of the great barriers preventing us from delving into curiosity is fear. When faced with uncertainty or risk, it is much easier, and widely approved of, to stay confined in what is deemed to be safe. We are afraid to let curiosity take full reign. Sometimes we have to live with a little risk, fear or danger to become the individual, the family and even the nation we want to be.

    By being curious about what lies behind obvious situations we invariably find that things are more complicated or complex than they appear on the surface. Perhaps a good measure of curiosity might lead to an equal measure of understanding and acceptance. If we can see the world as a big, complex environment, we might begin to appreciate our interconnectedness and, in turn, be curious about why our own problems and issues might be small and insignificant in the face of a much larger picture.

    Being a “Curious Explorer”

    1. Try to notice little details of your daily routine that you never noticed before.
    2. When talking to people, try to remain open to whatever transpires without judging or reacting.
    3. Let novelty unfold and resist the temptation to control the flow.
    4. Gently allow your attention to be guided by little sights, sounds or smells that come your way.

    Photo: Night sky at Sherbrook River, January 2020

  • To Live the Best Life I Can

    To Live the Best Life I Can

    When I asked a young woman, who I saw for the first time recently, what motivated the significant changes she had made in her life over the last year she said she had decided, “To live the best life I can”.

    I found her words to be inspirational as she had the wisdom to speak in the present and the present is the only place we can change any aspect of ourselves.

    We hear a lot about ways to success these days. Often it’s about setting and achieving goals and/or finding our purpose. These can be useful for taking the steps on our journey but often fail to provide a deeper contentment and meaning. It is this deep sense of meaning that I believe is fundamental to our humanness.

    Imagine an old sailing ship navigating it’s way on its journey. As it proceeds along the coastline it has goals of recognising and passing each lighthouse and it has the purpose of delivering the goods it carries to its destination. But its navigation is actually being achieved by following the direction given by the stars. This navigation is a calling – the ship is being guided and knows that it is heading in the right direction.

    A calling is completely different; it comes from a deeper awareness of something beyond us

    Goals are the work of the mind and purpose adds a little heart to the mind’s business. A calling is completely different; it comes from a deeper awareness of something beyond us (like the stars that guided the old ships). It is not necessary (or perhaps even possible) to describe a calling in words, it’s a deep knowing. It is the soul’s business.

    The core focus of a calling is always present and in the present. It will always drive you, regardless of how you choose to act on it. You may find there are many actions which are congruent with your calling. But inspiring change is always present with a calling. Callings are about contributing to the world through your words, actions, presence and creations. Your views, experiences, voice and ideas are meant to be shared and your calling will align itself with some way to express these things. This is why they matter.

    Callings are about contributing to the world through your words, actions, presence and creations.

    Callings draw you towards them. They may start as a tiny nagging thought or feeling. Callings involve listening to your intuitions, they start deep inside us when we realise that we are not separate from the universe. (See my previous article “The Truth is in the Body”.) They call you to align yourself with wisdom and they are always present. Once recognised for what they are, they will always drive and guide you. This was the very message that impressed me during the conversation I mentioned at the beginning of this article. My young client expressed wisdom beyond her years and was enjoying the benefits of a changed focus in her life.

    Your calling is as unique as you are; and yet has a universal quality that is wise, compassionate and healing.

  • Being vs Doing – Resolving the Paradox

    Being vs Doing – Resolving the Paradox

    The only thing you ever have is now.If we are “supposed to be” perfect in the moment how do we change ourselves and the world for the better?

    This apparent paradox is the old question of Being vs Doing. Wisdom calls for us to accept things as they are and at the same time we know that we want to change things. How can this be achieved? I have to say that I pondered this over for several years and the answer seemed to be there, like it was hanging in space, but I could not grasp it. I have since realised that I was trying to understand a “big picture’ concept using the “small detail” part of my mind. I will explain……

    I was inspired to understand the “answer” to this paradox, about 4 years ago, by a person who comes to see me. At that stage I had seen him a few times and one day, when I asked him what changes he was noticing with the Network Chiropractic Care, he said that there was a paradox (I don’t remember what the particular paradox was) that he had been searching for an answer to for many years and in the previous week he had finally understood it.

    The crucial thing I noticed was that when he said the words “in the previous week I have finally understood it”, he changed his posture to a slightly more erect one and tilted his head back a little. Clearly he had found the resolution of his paradox by accessing his “big picture” mind. The Network care he had received had made a new higher level posture more available to him and had contributed to his being able to achieve this insight.

    Most people who experience Network Care become aware of positive changes to their posture and often describe it using such words as “feeling taller”, “more connected”, “more grounded”, “more powerful”,  “more feminine / masculine”, “more at ease”, and many other positive descriptions.

    An aspect of the change in posture is the position of the person’s head becoming level, or slightly tilted up, (their eyes look straight ahead) rather than tilting down (to look at the ground in front of them). It is proven that we access a different part of our brain depending on the posture of our head.

    The tilted down posture gives more access to our busy mind, where we focus on practical detailed tasks and where we think more about our “problems”. In Network we call this the Lower Mind. The level or slightly tilted up head position accesses more of our Upper Mind. This is where our “big picture” thinking occurs.

    As an experiment try saying the words, “feeling taller”, “more connected” etc. that are in the paragraph above; first with your head down looking at the floor in front of you, then standing straighter, looking ahead and notice the difference in how you feel inside. Then try saying a few words like “I’m hopeless”, “I never get things right”, “it’s all his/her fault” (you can make up more it you want – we all have/have had plenty) using the two different postures. In the upright posture some of the “negative” thoughts may even sound silly.

    The Upper Mind is where we access our creativity and philosophical ideas. Here, you will notice, answers tend to come in moments of clarity or “Ah Ha’s” as opposed to the detailed logical progression of the Lower Mind’s processes. Our Lower Mind’s thoughts tend to be much more influenced, mostly unconsciously, by our physical and emotional injuries.

    This doesn’t make the Lower Mind bad or something to “get rid of” – it’s a wonderful, essential part of our make-up as a human being. But it’s important to realise that with Network Care we gain greater access to our Upper Mind and therefore have more choices about which aspect of our mind we use in different situations.

    Imagine writing a shopping list for a special meal you want to create. You tend to use your Upper Mind to get a “big picture’ of the combination of dishes you would like to serve and how you will present them, then you switch to your Lower Mind to think about the ingredients you have in the cupboard and which ones you will have to buy etc. i.e. the details. You might notice yourself switching back and forth between your Upper and Lower Minds to check that the details and the big picture are congruent.

    Now, back to the Being Vs Doing paradox. I agree with Eckhart Tolle who says:

    “The power for creating a better future is contained in the present moment: You create a good future by creating a good present.”

    When we talk about being in the present moment, we are describing the act of gathering our attention and energy in the here and now, focusing on what is around us and what is happening in our life right now in the moment.

    So if you are drinking a cup of coffee, you are noticing the flavour and temperature of the coffee and the feel of the cup in your hand; if you are reading this article, you are focusing fully on these words; if you are listening to a friend, you are giving all your attention to him or her and not looking at your phone or allowing your thoughts to wander.

    You cannot live in this world without doing. As you further develop the art of being fully present in the moment, then everything you do will become more purposeful and meaningful.

    The important message to remember is that by being fully present in each and every moment, you will be able to do your very best work and accomplish your full potential. Learn how to be first, and then your best doing will follow……..and the paradox will disappear!

     

  • Invite Your “Higher Self” For a Coffee and Chat.

    Much of what distresses us comes from a conflict with our “higher selves.”  We often perceive ourselves as falling short of our own potential and are overwhelmed by inadequacy.

    The following thought-experiment might prove useful:

    Imagine for a moment that your so-called higher self is living a parallel life. Right now, he or she is doing the things you want to be doing, having the relationships you want to be having, living the life-style you want to be living, enjoying the health you want to be enjoying, and is expressing him or herself creatively and emotionally in all the ways you want to be expressing.

    Let’s pretend this ‘You’ was an actual person and let’s pretend that you have the opportunity to invite them for a coffee and chat at your favourite café.

    As you prepare to meet, what are you feeling? Are you nervous or embarrassed? And as you sit there chatting, do you find yourself wanting to make excuses for why you’re not living the same life this higher version of Yourself is living? Take note of how you are feeling during this imaginary scenario, but avoid making comparisons.

    Instead, observe how this higher You is carrying themselves, check their posture, tune in to their energy, be receptive to their vibrations. Get a sense of their confidence, joy and enthusiasm. See the light behind their eyes.

    Now, step out of conflict with this other You. After all, it’s YOU!! You are them. It merely takes a mental shift to step right into their shoes. The barrier to becoming your “higher-self” is purely imaginary. There is no barrier…… simply a merging.

    Until we start thinking the thoughts and carrying the presence of the higher version of ourselves, we will continue to live a lesser experience.