Enkindle Wellness

Tag: Network Care

  • Curiosity

    Curiosity

    “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”  — Mark Twain

    I have long been interested in the phenomenon of curiosity. When I contemplate its meaning I realise that it comes from “presence”- being totally present in a given moment. Curiosity is an active meditation requiring an opening of the senses and a sharpening of the mind. The experience of being curious is a key ingredient to infusing life with meaning and purpose.

    Curiosity is an orientation that seeks what is novel in a situation. It embraces uncertainty, rather than struggling for control. There is evidence that maintaining curiosity in old age protects against cognitive and physical decline.

    I notice a sense of curiosity in the people I see at Enkindle Wellness. I often see a willingness to confront unfamiliar or challenging concepts and endeavours in order to seek a more meaningful and fulfilling life. This is an encouraging experience for me and for the people who come to my practice.

    “Curious? Discover the Missing Ingredient to a Fulfilling Life” written by Dr Todd Kashdan is a book filled with studies and insights into curiosity.

    Dr. Kashdan draws issue with the “happiness movement” as an end goal. He advocates curiosity as a more authentic path for a happy and meaningful life. Being curious requires an openness to the unfamiliar and to uncertain outcomes. If just being happy is your goal, then you are closed off from the possibility of unexpected outcomes. Curiosity requires not just an attentiveness to the potential of a given situation but also a degree of risk.

    “When we experience curiosity, we are willing to leave the familiar and routine and take risks, even if it makes us feel anxious and uncomfortable,” said Kahsdan. “Curious explorers are comfortable with the risks of taking on new challenges. Instead of trying desperately to explain and control our world, as a curious explorer we embrace uncertainty, and see our lives as an enjoyable quest to discover, learn and grow.”

    We can exercise curiosity by seeking what’s intriguing about our world … about why things are important to us….about people we think we know ….about relationships that challenge us…. or even someone we’ve been married to for 20 years!

    One of the great barriers preventing us from delving into curiosity is fear. When faced with uncertainty or risk, it is much easier, and widely approved of, to stay confined in what is deemed to be safe. We are afraid to let curiosity take full reign. Sometimes we have to live with a little risk, fear or danger to become the individual, the family and even the nation we want to be.

    By being curious about what lies behind obvious situations we invariably find that things are more complicated or complex than they appear on the surface. Perhaps a good measure of curiosity might lead to an equal measure of understanding and acceptance. If we can see the world as a big, complex environment, we might begin to appreciate our interconnectedness and, in turn, be curious about why our own problems and issues might be small and insignificant in the face of a much larger picture.

    Being a “Curious Explorer”

    1. Try to notice little details of your daily routine that you never noticed before.
    2. When talking to people, try to remain open to whatever transpires without judging or reacting.
    3. Let novelty unfold and resist the temptation to control the flow.
    4. Gently allow your attention to be guided by little sights, sounds or smells that come your way.

    Photo: Night sky at Sherbrook River, January 2020

  • What is Healing?

    To heal is to become whole. The words “healing” and “curing” are commonly used interchangeably, but their definitions are different.

    Curing is a restoration of health, an absence of symptoms, and a remedy of disease. It’s a return to a previous state of health. This is the aim of our health care system – to take you back to the state you were in before the symptoms or disease. Which, of course, was the very state of “dis-ease” you were in when the symptoms began (and may well have contributed to their onset in the first place.)

    Healing, on the other hand, is a restoration of wholeness — not the level of wholeness before the diagnosis, but a restoration of wholeness that is new, different, and comparatively better than before the onset of disease. Healing is not the removal or cessation of symptoms, but rather an integrative process that transcends the physical; and includes emotional, mental, and spiritual vitality.

     Healing can be defined as a personal experience of the transcendence of our suffering.

    Suffering, arises from our being attached to our thoughts. Whenever there is pain of any kind – the pain of aggression, grieving, loss, irritation, resentment, jealousy, indigestion, physical pain or illness; if we look deeper, we find that behind the pain there is always something else. There is always something we’re holding on to consciously or unconsciously. Typically, this is an idea, thought or narrative that we have created about ourselves.

     “I discovered that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered, but that when I didn’t believe them, I didn’t suffer, and that this is true for every human being. Freedom is as simple as that. I found that suffering is optional.” -Byron Katie

    If we are able to see that the process of healing begins with summoning the courage to let go of our thoughts and beliefs (even when they seem so natural and persistent) then we are empowered to undertake the process of healing. Consequently, we may notice that all healing is self-healing and the practitioners we call on for help are facilitators of our very own healing process.

    Science has not proven where our thoughts come from, but it is clear they are really just a flow of energy despite how concrete they appear. So the healing of our suffering derived from our thoughts needs to be a process concerned with the flow of energy.

    Healing is a lifelong process of many ups and downs. As a part of this process it is common for symptoms, e.g. a particular pain, to fluctuate. It is also common that changes in energy flow in the body can trigger a de-toxification process which can, in turn, lead to symptoms such as headaches and nausea.

    There are thousands of methods of facilitating healing and many practitioners who call themselves “healers”. When “healers” follow a set ritual or technique to produce their “healing”, I believe they are limiting the power of their process because it is expected to occur in a pre-determined manner.

    The less the practitioner uses ritual, technique or attachment to the outcome, the greater the potential for healing. With the Network Chiropractic and Profound Tension Release modalities I use, the techniques become a basis from which I work. As I progress with the people I see, the “treatments” become less about the technique and more about the person. There is a weaving of the healing and curing aspects into the person’s experience. The result can be both a reduction of their symptoms and the healing of other aspects of their lives.

    “If you try to fix anything about yourself, it is a form of judgment. Judgment more than anything keeps us forever imprisoned in separation. A more effective approach to healing is to allow everything to surface into conscious awareness and responsible expression and to do so with the love, acceptance and compassion that arise out of Presence.” – Leonard Jacobson

     

  • Are You a Transition Person?

    Every day in my practice, I help and I am inspired by people who have the qualities of a “Transition Person”. The expression “Transition Person” has been defined as:

    “A person who breaks unhealthy, harmful, abusive or unfortunate learned behaviours and replaces them with proactive, helpful, effective behaviours.  This person models positive behaviours and passes on effective habits that strengthen and build others in positive ways.” ~ Stephen Covey

    In my experience, “Transition People” experience a deep desire stand up and be a positive example to others in their family, peer group, work place or other community group. Something within them says “enough of this, there is a better, more productive, more fulfilling way to live life.” Often it is not obvious to them where this desire comes from and how it has evolved.

    I see Transition People as having developed the ability to listen to the authentic voice  that comes from deeper within rather than just the “normal” little voice we hear chattering away all the time. Our little voice is very good at convincing us to ignore the authentic voice, telling us that we will cause trouble, look bad etc. if we listen to our authentic voice.

    Transition People see un-resourceful patterns in themselves, their families/group that are repeated generation after generation. One woman I see described it as like observing a pattern passed from her grandparents, to her parents and on to her siblings of repeatedly walking down a road, falling down a hole, struggling out of the hole, only to walk down the road again and fall into the same hole.

    The life of a Transition Person can be very challenging because changing deep seated patterns requires a lot of energy. In my experience many Transition People experience significant health challenges in themselves. The courage they display in continually working towards creating positive change, despite set-backs along the way,  is inspiring to me and others who observe their lives.

    Being a Transition Person requires hard work, humility, trustworthiness and a long term vision. Often their stand may not be appreciated by other people especially their immediate family or siblings. In fact it often seems to be the case that the siblings cause the most difficulty. Despite this, it may be the daughter or son of a sibling, who grows up observing and interacting with the “crazy aunt” or “eccentric uncle”, and thus is inspired to express a better and more fulfilling life.

    From a practice perspective pretty much everyone who comes to see me is in a stage of becoming Transition Person. They know (or have an inkling) that there is a part of them that is ready and wanting to change. As their Care progresses from initially the relief of symptoms to building up energy for change, this part of them is saying “Enough of this, things are going to change, it’s my responsibility and I have a plan to make it happen!”  Click on the link for information about the Levels of Network care.

    Stephen Covey also asserts that:

    “Transition persons transcend their own needs and tap into the deepest, most noble impulses of human nature.
    In times of darkness, they are lights, not judges; models, not critics.
    In periods of discord, they are change catalysts, not victims; healers, not carriers.
    Today’s world needs more transition persons. Trust yourself to become one of the best, and watch your influence grow.”

    Mahatma Gandhi suggested that people should focus first on improving themselves and then allow others to be inspired by their example, their determination, and their integrity to values. These days we need as many uplifting and positive role models as possible to lean on, learn from, and emulate. By following Gandhi’s mantra:

    “Become the change you seek in this world.”

    Perhaps you and I can become that uplifting energy for others, as well as for ourselves.

  • Emotions – Energy in Motion

    When we feel an emotion, what we are really sensing is the vibration of a particular energy. Think of emotion as the movement of energy – energy in motion. Each emotion has its own vibratory signature.

    Science and medicine had long been convinced that thoughts and emotions originate in the brain. However, modern research is proving that thoughts and emotions are energy vibrations that occur in our body, specifically in the matrix of connective tissue which interconnects all cells, tissues and organs.

    These energy vibrations are then perceived by our brain, where they are processed and verbalised according to our acquired expectations and beliefs. The brain’s function is to assign meaning and to create narratives around these emotions. It is therefore becoming evident that an emotional sensation and the meaning ascribed to it by our brain can be separate from each other.

    Emotions are expressed over a short period of minutes to an hour or two. When a person says they are some particular emotion e.g. “I am an angry person” and they’re not expressing that emotion – there is no energy in motion. When a person is thinking an emotion instead of expressing it, there can be no chance for them to use the energy of their emotion (in this example, anger) to bring about change.

    Our emotional state is created by the amount of energy we have in motion. When energy is blocked (lack of motion) we tend towards apathy and depression. Note that exercise i.e. movement of the body, can be effective in relief of depression. Too much energy in motion can cause us to feel anxious or over emotional.

    Normal levels of emotions facilitate an energy flow that can help us break unconscious patterns of thinking and acting.

    They are the impetus for action and change in our lives for the better.

    Your body cannot tell the difference between an actual experience that triggers an emotional response, and an emotion fabricated by a thought process or narrative. Worrying about a disaster that might potentially occur can generate a negative emotion. You can have a thought that generates emotion in your body which is then returned to your brain in a never ending cycle.

    We are protected from becoming overwhelmed by our body’s ability to hold the energy of an emotion in the connective tissue matrix. This “held” energy can become lodged anywhere in your body and is stuck there until something facilitates its release. The stuck energy negatively affects the normal energetic flow, and therefore can impact upon the health of your body at all levels; cells, tissues and organs.

    Network Chiropractic Care can help you to access areas of stuck energy. It is an efficient process that gradually delves down through the layers, safely freeing up stuck energy which manifests as thoughts and emotions. Gradually, as energy is released, a person may feel more in control of their emotions and have more energy to do the things that are important in their lives.

    The body maps in the diagram at the top of the page show regions whose activation increased (warm colors) or decreased (cool colors) when feeling each emotion. From “Bodily Maps of Emotions” http://www.pnas.org/content/111/2/646.full.pdf.

  • When the Voice Gets Louder….

    When the Voice Gets Louder, You’re on the Right Track.

    Have you ever noticed that when you make the decision to start or actually do something new, especially if it involves a significant shift from your previous way doing things, there is an increase in the “chatter” in your head? Your inner voice may say: “You can’t do that”, “What will people think?”, “Nobody else does it like that”, “You’re stupid to think like that” ….and dozens of similar statements. My suggestion is that the louder the voice, the more likely it is that you’re on the right track.

    The voice in your head: the critic, the guardian – is the voice of your thinking mind.

    The voice in your head: the critic, the guardian – is the voice of your thinking mind. Its talk is derived from the past which it thinks will help you interpret the present and predict the future. Its role is to keep you safe – it’s about survival. It’s the guardian at the gate. It holds you safe as it holds you back.

    The information from your inner voice comes directly from past experiences and from what you have learned from those with whom you grew up. The voice may even speak from memories of events in the lives of previous generations. Recent research in the field of epigenetics (the study of how stress, diet, behaviour, toxins, and other factors regulate gene expression), has shown that severe trauma in one generation can be passed on to future generations.

    Your voice can appear very rational, logical and sensible; and while it has aspects of these qualities, careful observation will show that it is driven by emotions, mainly those that are immature or irrational, such as fears that come from childhood. This information is from the past and is out of date because it is based on the limited thinking of the child you once were. “The Work”, a process developed by Byron Katie, (see my previous blog) is a simple way to observe the voice in action.

    The part of you that your voice calls silly, irrational, crazy, dangerous, etc. is actually your intuitional, creative, authentic self.

    But who is this inner voice talking to?  What is the purpose of all this chatter? The part of you that your voice calls silly, irrational, crazy, dangerous, etc. is actually your intuitional, creative, authentic self. Notice that when something arises from this deeper aspect of you, it is not expressed in words but more in feelings and “knowing”.  Intuition, when it is noticed by the inner voice, (the “guardian at the gate,”) sets off the chatter referred to earlier. Paradoxically, the greater your intuitive desire to change, the more shrill your inner critic becomes. The louder the inner voice, the more likely you are to be on the right track!

    The challenge therefore is to accept your inner voice for what it does best (because it’s a futile waste of effort to try to get rid of it) and proceed, albeit with caution and care. Acknowledging your inner critic for what it is and does, allows you to move forward to a fuller life.

    By helping you to notice what is going on within you, and by helping you to identify the positive aspects of having an inner critic, Network Care can set you on the path of discovering your true and authentic self.

  • “I’m Stuck”

    It’s great when people come to see me and say they are “stuck” or “blocked” in some aspect of their body or their life. This is because realising you are stuck is the point at which moving forward is possible.

    “It seems as if I keep making progress then I hit a barrier, I feel like I’m running around in circles, I’ve tried EVERTHING, it’s SO FRUSTRATING!”

    If you think of something, it could be a pain (or any other aspect of your life), that you are experiencing (or have experienced in the past) a feeling of being stuck or blocked; observe the feeling that you “have tried everything.” And you probably have indeed tried lots of things, often treatments that are designed to “fix” the problem.

    These treatments will usually give symptomatic relief and psychological relief because a “professional” has told you they have found the source of your symptoms and given it a name (a diagnosis).  I’m not saying this is “bad” because it can be crucial and lifesaving.  But it is also the reason that our health care system fails many of the people who suffer chronic diseases and pain.

    When you are focused on and are receiving treatments aimed at “fixing” the problem you may get relief, but you continually dissipate the energy that is required to bring about real change. I know about this because I spent 20 years as a manual chiropractor, with the best of intentions based on my understanding at that time: trying to “fix” people’s problems. (Not to mention trying to “fix” my own problems.) I finally realised that I was only helping people to stay stuck in a “holding pattern” where they got relief from their symptoms (e.g. their headache) for a short period of time then the headache would come back because nothing had changed in their life.

    Fortunately there was the occasional person who did move out of that holding pattern and I noticed that these people often, not only resolved their symptom pattern but told me about changes they had made in their life – “changed my whole diet”, “left the job I hated” etc. These people inspired me to search for a way of working where I could help people break through their stuckness and achieve more of what they want to do in their lives. This is what I do now.

    Life creates layers of blockages within us. These blockages originally occur at times of stress, often when we are young and have a lesser ability to cope than an adult. These blockages are not bad things when they originally occur as they help us to be safe and to cope. Later in adult life they come out as symptoms and a restriction in our ability to be who we are capable of being. It is a lifelong process of clearing these blockages.

    When a person realises and expresses that they are stuck then the energy for change is available.

    Say out loud, with conviction; “I’M STUCK!!!”.

    Notice the energy that arises in saying this and a sense, in the background, that there is a spark of possibility that change can occur. Once that spark has occurred there is energy for change and my “work” can help you use that energy to move forward in the aspect of your life that is blocked.

    Once the energy for change is set free, you may find yourself wanting to say “Enough of this”, “I’m drawing a line in the sand”, or “I have a plan and I’m moving forward.” The energy that was bound up in the blockage is now flowing and creating real change.

  • Being vs Doing – Resolving the Paradox

    Being vs Doing – Resolving the Paradox

    The only thing you ever have is now.If we are “supposed to be” perfect in the moment how do we change ourselves and the world for the better?

    This apparent paradox is the old question of Being vs Doing. Wisdom calls for us to accept things as they are and at the same time we know that we want to change things. How can this be achieved? I have to say that I pondered this over for several years and the answer seemed to be there, like it was hanging in space, but I could not grasp it. I have since realised that I was trying to understand a “big picture’ concept using the “small detail” part of my mind. I will explain……

    I was inspired to understand the “answer” to this paradox, about 4 years ago, by a person who comes to see me. At that stage I had seen him a few times and one day, when I asked him what changes he was noticing with the Network Chiropractic Care, he said that there was a paradox (I don’t remember what the particular paradox was) that he had been searching for an answer to for many years and in the previous week he had finally understood it.

    The crucial thing I noticed was that when he said the words “in the previous week I have finally understood it”, he changed his posture to a slightly more erect one and tilted his head back a little. Clearly he had found the resolution of his paradox by accessing his “big picture” mind. The Network care he had received had made a new higher level posture more available to him and had contributed to his being able to achieve this insight.

    Most people who experience Network Care become aware of positive changes to their posture and often describe it using such words as “feeling taller”, “more connected”, “more grounded”, “more powerful”,  “more feminine / masculine”, “more at ease”, and many other positive descriptions.

    An aspect of the change in posture is the position of the person’s head becoming level, or slightly tilted up, (their eyes look straight ahead) rather than tilting down (to look at the ground in front of them). It is proven that we access a different part of our brain depending on the posture of our head.

    The tilted down posture gives more access to our busy mind, where we focus on practical detailed tasks and where we think more about our “problems”. In Network we call this the Lower Mind. The level or slightly tilted up head position accesses more of our Upper Mind. This is where our “big picture” thinking occurs.

    As an experiment try saying the words, “feeling taller”, “more connected” etc. that are in the paragraph above; first with your head down looking at the floor in front of you, then standing straighter, looking ahead and notice the difference in how you feel inside. Then try saying a few words like “I’m hopeless”, “I never get things right”, “it’s all his/her fault” (you can make up more it you want – we all have/have had plenty) using the two different postures. In the upright posture some of the “negative” thoughts may even sound silly.

    The Upper Mind is where we access our creativity and philosophical ideas. Here, you will notice, answers tend to come in moments of clarity or “Ah Ha’s” as opposed to the detailed logical progression of the Lower Mind’s processes. Our Lower Mind’s thoughts tend to be much more influenced, mostly unconsciously, by our physical and emotional injuries.

    This doesn’t make the Lower Mind bad or something to “get rid of” – it’s a wonderful, essential part of our make-up as a human being. But it’s important to realise that with Network Care we gain greater access to our Upper Mind and therefore have more choices about which aspect of our mind we use in different situations.

    Imagine writing a shopping list for a special meal you want to create. You tend to use your Upper Mind to get a “big picture’ of the combination of dishes you would like to serve and how you will present them, then you switch to your Lower Mind to think about the ingredients you have in the cupboard and which ones you will have to buy etc. i.e. the details. You might notice yourself switching back and forth between your Upper and Lower Minds to check that the details and the big picture are congruent.

    Now, back to the Being Vs Doing paradox. I agree with Eckhart Tolle who says:

    “The power for creating a better future is contained in the present moment: You create a good future by creating a good present.”

    When we talk about being in the present moment, we are describing the act of gathering our attention and energy in the here and now, focusing on what is around us and what is happening in our life right now in the moment.

    So if you are drinking a cup of coffee, you are noticing the flavour and temperature of the coffee and the feel of the cup in your hand; if you are reading this article, you are focusing fully on these words; if you are listening to a friend, you are giving all your attention to him or her and not looking at your phone or allowing your thoughts to wander.

    You cannot live in this world without doing. As you further develop the art of being fully present in the moment, then everything you do will become more purposeful and meaningful.

    The important message to remember is that by being fully present in each and every moment, you will be able to do your very best work and accomplish your full potential. Learn how to be first, and then your best doing will follow……..and the paradox will disappear!