Enkindle Wellness

Tag: Inner voice

  • To Live the Best Life I Can

    To Live the Best Life I Can

    When I asked a young woman, who I saw for the first time recently, what motivated the significant changes she had made in her life over the last year she said she had decided, “To live the best life I can”.

    I found her words to be inspirational as she had the wisdom to speak in the present and the present is the only place we can change any aspect of ourselves.

    We hear a lot about ways to success these days. Often it’s about setting and achieving goals and/or finding our purpose. These can be useful for taking the steps on our journey but often fail to provide a deeper contentment and meaning. It is this deep sense of meaning that I believe is fundamental to our humanness.

    Imagine an old sailing ship navigating it’s way on its journey. As it proceeds along the coastline it has goals of recognising and passing each lighthouse and it has the purpose of delivering the goods it carries to its destination. But its navigation is actually being achieved by following the direction given by the stars. This navigation is a calling – the ship is being guided and knows that it is heading in the right direction.

    A calling is completely different; it comes from a deeper awareness of something beyond us

    Goals are the work of the mind and purpose adds a little heart to the mind’s business. A calling is completely different; it comes from a deeper awareness of something beyond us (like the stars that guided the old ships). It is not necessary (or perhaps even possible) to describe a calling in words, it’s a deep knowing. It is the soul’s business.

    The core focus of a calling is always present and in the present. It will always drive you, regardless of how you choose to act on it. You may find there are many actions which are congruent with your calling. But inspiring change is always present with a calling. Callings are about contributing to the world through your words, actions, presence and creations. Your views, experiences, voice and ideas are meant to be shared and your calling will align itself with some way to express these things. This is why they matter.

    Callings are about contributing to the world through your words, actions, presence and creations.

    Callings draw you towards them. They may start as a tiny nagging thought or feeling. Callings involve listening to your intuitions, they start deep inside us when we realise that we are not separate from the universe. (See my previous article “The Truth is in the Body”.) They call you to align yourself with wisdom and they are always present. Once recognised for what they are, they will always drive and guide you. This was the very message that impressed me during the conversation I mentioned at the beginning of this article. My young client expressed wisdom beyond her years and was enjoying the benefits of a changed focus in her life.

    Your calling is as unique as you are; and yet has a universal quality that is wise, compassionate and healing.

  • Are You a Transition Person?

    Every day in my practice, I help and I am inspired by people who have the qualities of a “Transition Person”. The expression “Transition Person” has been defined as:

    “A person who breaks unhealthy, harmful, abusive or unfortunate learned behaviours and replaces them with proactive, helpful, effective behaviours.  This person models positive behaviours and passes on effective habits that strengthen and build others in positive ways.” ~ Stephen Covey

    In my experience, “Transition People” experience a deep desire stand up and be a positive example to others in their family, peer group, work place or other community group. Something within them says “enough of this, there is a better, more productive, more fulfilling way to live life.” Often it is not obvious to them where this desire comes from and how it has evolved.

    I see Transition People as having developed the ability to listen to the authentic voice  that comes from deeper within rather than just the “normal” little voice we hear chattering away all the time. Our little voice is very good at convincing us to ignore the authentic voice, telling us that we will cause trouble, look bad etc. if we listen to our authentic voice.

    Transition People see un-resourceful patterns in themselves, their families/group that are repeated generation after generation. One woman I see described it as like observing a pattern passed from her grandparents, to her parents and on to her siblings of repeatedly walking down a road, falling down a hole, struggling out of the hole, only to walk down the road again and fall into the same hole.

    The life of a Transition Person can be very challenging because changing deep seated patterns requires a lot of energy. In my experience many Transition People experience significant health challenges in themselves. The courage they display in continually working towards creating positive change, despite set-backs along the way,  is inspiring to me and others who observe their lives.

    Being a Transition Person requires hard work, humility, trustworthiness and a long term vision. Often their stand may not be appreciated by other people especially their immediate family or siblings. In fact it often seems to be the case that the siblings cause the most difficulty. Despite this, it may be the daughter or son of a sibling, who grows up observing and interacting with the “crazy aunt” or “eccentric uncle”, and thus is inspired to express a better and more fulfilling life.

    From a practice perspective pretty much everyone who comes to see me is in a stage of becoming Transition Person. They know (or have an inkling) that there is a part of them that is ready and wanting to change. As their Care progresses from initially the relief of symptoms to building up energy for change, this part of them is saying “Enough of this, things are going to change, it’s my responsibility and I have a plan to make it happen!”  Click on the link for information about the Levels of Network care.

    Stephen Covey also asserts that:

    “Transition persons transcend their own needs and tap into the deepest, most noble impulses of human nature.
    In times of darkness, they are lights, not judges; models, not critics.
    In periods of discord, they are change catalysts, not victims; healers, not carriers.
    Today’s world needs more transition persons. Trust yourself to become one of the best, and watch your influence grow.”

    Mahatma Gandhi suggested that people should focus first on improving themselves and then allow others to be inspired by their example, their determination, and their integrity to values. These days we need as many uplifting and positive role models as possible to lean on, learn from, and emulate. By following Gandhi’s mantra:

    “Become the change you seek in this world.”

    Perhaps you and I can become that uplifting energy for others, as well as for ourselves.

  • When the Voice Gets Louder….

    When the Voice Gets Louder, You’re on the Right Track.

    Have you ever noticed that when you make the decision to start or actually do something new, especially if it involves a significant shift from your previous way doing things, there is an increase in the “chatter” in your head? Your inner voice may say: “You can’t do that”, “What will people think?”, “Nobody else does it like that”, “You’re stupid to think like that” ….and dozens of similar statements. My suggestion is that the louder the voice, the more likely it is that you’re on the right track.

    The voice in your head: the critic, the guardian – is the voice of your thinking mind.

    The voice in your head: the critic, the guardian – is the voice of your thinking mind. Its talk is derived from the past which it thinks will help you interpret the present and predict the future. Its role is to keep you safe – it’s about survival. It’s the guardian at the gate. It holds you safe as it holds you back.

    The information from your inner voice comes directly from past experiences and from what you have learned from those with whom you grew up. The voice may even speak from memories of events in the lives of previous generations. Recent research in the field of epigenetics (the study of how stress, diet, behaviour, toxins, and other factors regulate gene expression), has shown that severe trauma in one generation can be passed on to future generations.

    Your voice can appear very rational, logical and sensible; and while it has aspects of these qualities, careful observation will show that it is driven by emotions, mainly those that are immature or irrational, such as fears that come from childhood. This information is from the past and is out of date because it is based on the limited thinking of the child you once were. “The Work”, a process developed by Byron Katie, (see my previous blog) is a simple way to observe the voice in action.

    The part of you that your voice calls silly, irrational, crazy, dangerous, etc. is actually your intuitional, creative, authentic self.

    But who is this inner voice talking to?  What is the purpose of all this chatter? The part of you that your voice calls silly, irrational, crazy, dangerous, etc. is actually your intuitional, creative, authentic self. Notice that when something arises from this deeper aspect of you, it is not expressed in words but more in feelings and “knowing”.  Intuition, when it is noticed by the inner voice, (the “guardian at the gate,”) sets off the chatter referred to earlier. Paradoxically, the greater your intuitive desire to change, the more shrill your inner critic becomes. The louder the inner voice, the more likely you are to be on the right track!

    The challenge therefore is to accept your inner voice for what it does best (because it’s a futile waste of effort to try to get rid of it) and proceed, albeit with caution and care. Acknowledging your inner critic for what it is and does, allows you to move forward to a fuller life.

    By helping you to notice what is going on within you, and by helping you to identify the positive aspects of having an inner critic, Network Care can set you on the path of discovering your true and authentic self.